How Did We Get Here
by druifje
Summary: "Between the moans and the purrs you can't help but feel a little twinge of guilt. Just a bit. But that feeling is quickly forgotten when she does something that makes a very primitive grunt come out of the back of your throat."


**A/N:** Gosh, I've been working on this for ages. I wanted it to be finished so badly but I tried not to rush it. At least not too much. This kind of writing is not something I usually do and I shouldn't get used to it. But it wasn't supposed to be this long. I was planning for it to be like, 500 words or something. But I had so much fun writing it, that I just had to go on. Which makes this, about the longest fic I've ever written. Aren't you proud of me?

This is also my first attempt at writing smut, or half-smut, because it doesn't actually go into details, but I was pretty proud of that part.

It's a future fic, like three years after high school. Hope you enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything Glee-ish.

…

What could possibly be worse than sleeping with your best friend's girl?

Sleeping with your best friend's _new_ girl.

And this time she wasn't even drunk.

Sure, you are not that man-whorish 17-year-old anymore. You are 3 years older, but old habits die hard.

Between the moans and the purrs you can't help but feel a little twinge of guilt.

Just a bit.

But that feeling is quickly forgotten when she does something that makes a very primitive grunt come out of the back of your throat.

…

The morning after is awkward, to say at least.

She is almost in tears and screaming hysterically while she looks for her clothes, which are spread _everywhere_ throughout the room.

And you don't really know how to respond, so you just keep still, letting her rant.

"I'm telling him, Noah. I'm telling him."

That part gets your attention.

"No, you aren't." You reply simply.

"What makes you think that?" She speaks in a very soft voice with just a hint of surprise.

"Because you don't want him to hate you." _Or me, _you add silently in your mind.

She opens her mouth, like she wants to say something, but no sound comes out, so she closes it again.

"I have to go." She finally says.

And with that she is gone and the room suddenly feels cold and empty.

…

The second time is better in some ways, but also worse.

It's better because you already know some ways to make her moan in a way that gets you really turned on.

It's worse because you can't say it was a mistake now. Not now you've done it a second time.

Not that you thought the first time to be a mistake.

But she does, apparently.

"This was a mistake, Noah." She doesn't look at you.

"No, babe. The first time you do something like this you can say it is a mistake. The second time you just do it because you want to." It all makes sense in your mind.

"Did you want to?" She sounds surprised.

"Yes."

She looks at you, eyes wide with surprise.

"I have to go."

And she is gone again.

…

It's Finn's birthday party which you, as his best friend, have to attend. Not that you really mind, you're sure that it is going to be fun.

In the middle of the party, when everybody is in the living room, Finn says he has an announcement to make.

He and Rachel are engaged.

Everybody cheers and congratulates them but you can only look at Rachel.

She knows you are looking at her but avoids you're gaze. You can't really blame her for that.

Her smiles seems to light up the whole room but there is still something not right about them and somehow you feel betrayed because she didn't tell you about the engagement before they told everybody else.

Then you remind yourself that she didn't have any reason to do that.

You can't help but feel a little rejected, even if she was never even yours to begin with.

…

"Please, Noah. Let me be happy." She pleads.

You approached her after everyone was done congratulating and she was in the kitchen to prepare some snacks.

"I'm not saying I'm not gonna let you be happy."

"Then why don't you just leave me alone? How is it that I would rather spend time with you than with my own fiancé?"

You are a 99 percent sure that she just said you were better at sex than Finn, but you don't think it's wise to say that out loud.

"Because even you think that you and Finn are a terrible couple."

She gives you a look and you don't really know what it means so you don't comment on it, you just look back at her.

After some moments she walks out of the room, leaving you again and you can't help but wonder how it is that she is always the one leaving.

…

The third time is amazing.

The bell rings in the middle of the night and she is standing outside your door in the pouring rain.

Before you can do as much as say something she steps inside.

"Finn and I had a fight." She says simply.

"About what?" You hope it is because she finally told him about the affair (if you can call having sex two times an affair), and that's she's here to.. well, you don't really know what you're hoping.

"Because I want to get away from this town."

"Why?" A part of you is surprised, because you didn't know she hated it here that much.

"Because here I can never be the star I know I am." You know she is telling the truth. The closest she will ever get to stardom here is the lead in a local theater production.

And she deserves so much more.

"Then why don't you leave?" It sounds logical to you.

"Because Finn doesn't want to. And there are just some things I can't say goodbye to." You are not sure if she means you with that, or something else.

She turns around so she is facing the window, you take some steps in her direction.

"Like what?"

She turns around and collides with your chest, your eyes are locking with hers.

"I think you know what." And before you can reply her lips are on yours, her hands desperately clinging to the front of your shirt.

This is nothing like the sweet, romantic kisses you see in movies. These are kisses full of lust and passion, like there is no tomorrow.

And somewhere along the way you end up in your bedroom. Clothes already disappeared and spread throughout the hallway that leads to the bedroom.

You flick your tongue over the pulse point in her neck and she moans, which causes a reaction from you.

"Noah.."

Your eyes lock with hers and for a moment you think you see love, but it's already gone before you had time to analyze it.

Your hand slides down her body which makes her shiver.

"Noah.."

Slowly you insert a finger inside her, moans escape from her mouth.

You keep thrusting inside of her and she keeps making these noises.

"Please.."

You don't know what she is begging for so you just make a wild guess and remove your hand, she opens her eyes questionably.

You kiss her again, just because you can't resist.

Rachel pulls back and you already start to wonder if you did anything wrong.

"Noah, I understand that you want to be sweet and all but _please_, just.. finish it!" She makes a frustrated groan and you can't help but chuckle, and obey to her request.

It doesn't take long for her to reach her climax and you follow not long after her.

…

There are a few things you've discovered about Rachel since you first had sex with her.

One, she is a post-sex cuddler. You love it.

Two, the realization that she just cheated again comes in the morning, which you also don't really mind. You don't like for a woman to leave right after you had sex.

Three, you are completely in love with her.

This last realization you make at 2:37am (you checked the alarm clock) and you suddenly feel like you can't breathe.

You get up and put on some clothes because you just need some fresh air. And this makes it the first time _you_ leave Rachel.

…

You return back home around 6am, you've been wandering around town this entire time. You can hear the water in the shower running, so you assume that Rachel is taking a shower.

You are tempted to join her there but you don't know if she will appreciate it, because you don't know what her reaction is to what happened last night.

So, while you wait for her to come out of the shower you decide to make some breakfast, because you think she may be less grumpy with some food in her stomach.

You're so busy preparing that you don't hear the footsteps behind you.

"We really, really need to stop this, Noah." The sudden sound startles you and you almost drop a plate.

"And why is that, Rachel?" You put everything down and turn around. If you're having this conversation you want to look at her.

"Because I'm engaged, and Finn will be heartbroken when he finds out about this." Her voice sounds pleading, almost begging you to understand.

"Then why does this keeps happening, Rachel? Why didn't this stop after that first time? Why did you come here last night after Finn and you fought? You knew this was going to happen if you came here, Rach, you knew that." You have to do your best not to yell the words or groan from frustration. Doesn't she understand how you feel about her.

"But, Finn.." She begins but you interrupt her.

"What about me? Don't I get a say in this? It's always Finn. It always has been Finn. And it always will be Finn fucking Hudson." The last part you do yell, because you just can't hold yourself anymore. You are also very tempted to punch the wall, but that would probably be a bit too much.

And without waiting for an answer you leave the house, leaving her behind for a second time.

…

When you come back after 20 minutes she's gone, without leaving as much as a note.

The next day a bright white envelope is laying on your doormat with your name and address written on it with swirly silver letters.

In the envelope is a wedding invitation, to Rachel's wedding.

You kick the table and a lone tear trickles down your cheek.

…

A few weeks pass in which you don't hear anything from her, but you don't contact her either.

Not talking to her hurts you more than you are willing to admit, but you are not going to call her, it's her turn now.

But she doesn't contact you. She doesn't stop by, she doesn't call. Nothing

You do, however, get a visit from Finn, and since that particular day you are officially the best man at their wedding.

Fuck your life.

…

Again a few weeks pass and you limit the contact with the outside world to a minimum. You are bound to run into someone you know if you go out, and you don't know if you can fake a happy smile convincing enough, so you just stay in.

But of course, after a few days, you need to get some groceries, because you just can't order pizza again.

You realized by now that karma is a bitch, so you aren't really surprised when you run into Finn and Rachel. Together.

Finn complains about how he hasn't seen you in ages and you nod and smile and promise him that you will call soon. Before you leave them alone again you cast a glance at Rachel, who has been looking at her shoes during the entire conversation.

…

The night before the wedding is the bachelor party that you planned. It was your duty as best man after all.

You invited some guys from the old glee club and the football team, hoping that the beer and the thrill of a guys' night would be enough to prevent any fight that might break out.

Mike, Matt, Artie and even Kurt all show up. The football players do too.

The night passes quickly enough even if you're not drinking. You set the non-drinking rule at the beginning of the evening. You wouldn't know what might slip out if you actually got drunk.

What surprises you the most is that all guys seem to get along. No arguments at all. You're not complaining, you would have gotten all the blame if things had gone sour.

Most of the guys get wasted beyond control. Or at least a bit tipsy. You're glad that the only person you have to get home safe is Finn, since he is the groom and you're the best man and that's your duty.

…

When you arrive at Finn's house you're glad Rachel is at her parents' house. She probably would've freaked out if she saw Finn like this. You think that if you weren't here to support him he would probably fall over and spent the night on the front porch.

"Hey, man, thanks for .." Finn is obviously struggling to find the right words. ".. thanks for the _awesome_ party." He lets out a very unmanly giggle.

"Yeah, no problem, dude. I am the best man after all." You smile a sad smile, trying not to think about the girl he is marrying.

You take the keys out of his pocket and unlock the front door. You practically push him into the house because Finn's legs just won't move.

"You think you'll manage from here, Hudson?" You can't help but chuckle at the sight of the intoxicated man in front of you. He is stumbling all through the living room and crashes down on the couch.

"Yeah, I'll manage." You assume that he fell asleep immediately, so you turn around, ready to leave the house.

"Hey, Puck?" Finn grunts as he tries to push himself up with his arms. He obviously wasn't asleep yet. "Promise me something?"

You turn around, curious. "Anything for you buddy." And you already get the feeling you're going to regret saying this.

"Don't sleep with Rachel again." Your eyes get wide and you almost fall over in surprise. But before you can say anything back to Finn you already hear him snoring.

You try to get out of the house as soon as possible.

…

Apparently you like torturing yourself because all you can think about is how Rachel will look in a wedding gown. You always imagined that if you thought of a girl in a wedding dress she would be getting married to you. Not to your best friend.

And your best friend knew you slept with his fiancé, and he is not hunting you down with a shotgun yet. You can't figure out how he had possibly discovered. The only thing you can come up with is that Rachel told him. Which is a big possibility now you come to think of it.

And before you know it you are calling her.

"Noah, what the.. it's 3:30 in the morning!" Her voice is still thick with sleep. You try not to notice how sexy you think she sounds.

"Did you tell Finn?" You decide to come straight to the point. There is no way for small talk anyway at 3:30am.

"What? Noah, can we talk about this another time? I'm getting married tomorrow, remember?"

Oh, he remembered alright.

"No, Rach, we're talking about this now. Why the hell would you tell Finn? And why hasn't he killed me yet if he knew?" A lot of questions are appearing in your mind right now. And you want answers.

"I didn't tell him anything. Maybe he overheard one of our conversations or something. I didn't even know that he knew. And I don't know why he hasn't killed you yet. Maybe for the same reason that he hasn't thrown me out." She sounds frustrated and confused and you guess that you probably had sounded the same.

"This is so fucked up." Was all you could say, and it was the truth. Because the whole situation was fucked up.

"How did you found out that he knew?" Rachel asked after a few moments of silence.

"He just told me. He's totally wasted and crashed down on the couch and before he went asleep he asked me to promise him something."

"What was that?" She asked in a small voice, but she knew the answer already.

"Not to sleep with you again." You both were silent again for a few moments. You wish you could see her right now, but you only could hear her breathing.

"I don't think I can manage going to the wedding tomorrow." Was all you could say. And it would be all for the best, really, if he didn't go.

"Noah, please come, it would mean so much to Finn, and.."

"And what Berry? You think I will regret it? You like torturing me? You think I like hurting my best friend like this? You think I like seeing the girl I fucking love getting married to someone else? You think I like always being the fucking second choice?" You were referring to high school now. And even though that was three years ago you still hadn't fully managed to let go of it.

It takes a few seconds of Rachel's silence to realize what you just said.

"You love me?"

And you hang up the phone. Because you are a coward that way.

…

That night you decide that that bottle of Jack Daniel's has been in the liquor cabinet for far too long.

…

Your phone wakes you up the next morning. You grunt and don't want to open your eyes because the light is giving you a headache.

Eventually you decide to pick up, because the fucking thing just won't stop beeping.

"'Sup?"

"Open your door, Puckerman." You have trouble recognizing the voice on the other end of the line. Maybe that was because your brain was still fogged from the alcohol you consumed last night, or maybe it was because the person sounded angry.

And you weren't used to hearing Finn sound angry.

You get up and put on some pants. It is probably better if you did what Finn said, he wasn't nice when he was pissed off.

As soon as you open the door you're getting knocked off your feet. And a hangover and a fight don't really go well together.

You manage to push Finn of you and pin him to the ground.

"What the fuck, Hudson?" You get up after you make sure Finn isn't going to attack you again.

"Maybe I should ask you that. Since you slept with my girlfriend." You get an awful déjà vu feeling. And Finn said _girlfriend_, did that mean that he and Rachel are still getting married?

You don't know what to say. So you, wisely, keep your mouth shut.

"Maybe I shouldn't be so surprised. Maybe I should've expected this to happen, since you seem to make a habit out of sleeping with your friends' girlfriends." Finn was still yelling.

You disagreed with his statement, since that only happened once before, and, well, multiple times with Rachel.

"When did you find out?" You voice the question that's been in your mind since last night.

"So, that's it? You aren't even trying to deny it?" Finn gives an humorless laugh.

"What's there to deny? You obviously know all about it already.." It probably isn't really in your place to talk to him like that, since you are the one to blame here.

"I had my suspicions, and you confirmed them last night." You're confused, how did you confirm any suspicions that he might have had?

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"You should have seen your face when I told you not to sleep with Rachel again. You eyes were the size of the fucking moon. I may have been drunk when I said it, but _I wasn't _that drunk." God, can't he stop yelling for a second?

You again don't know what to say. You try to come up with something, something that shows that you're sorry, something that shows that you regret it. But you would be lying if you said anything like that.

"Don't you have anything to say for yourself, Puckerman?" Finn crosses his arms, looking at you like he expects you to apologize.

"I do actually. Because you seem to think this is history repeating itself, I have to say that I don't agree with that. I mean, the whole Quinn-thing was back in high school. Like, 5 years ago. We were teenagers, and not thinking straight because we thought we were on top of the fucking world and nothing could go wrong.

But this time it is different, because even though you have been with Rachel for 4 years you aren't able to see that she is not happy. Sure, she may act happy but she never imagined herself settled down at an age of barely 23. She puts on that smile everyday and tells everyone she's alright, but she is not. This town is suffocating her and it will be Broadway's biggest loss if she doesn't go out there and show everyone how big a star she is." You're a bit out of breath after that little speech.

Finn looks at you, now _he_ doesn't seem able to find the right words. After a few moments he opens his mouth.

"Dude, are you like, in love with her or something?" And for a moment you feel like it is all going to be okay. That Finn doesn't mind now he knows you are not just playing Rachel. Maybe he has realized that what you just said is true.

Your silence, apparently, says it all because all Finn does is turn around and walk out the door.

You later hear that the wedding is called off.

…

In such a small town as Lima, where everyone grew up together, news spreads fast.

So it doesn't really surprise you that Finn and Rachel's break-up is where everyone's talking about.

You avoid going out for a few days because you suspect that there might be rumors that you had something to do with it. Which is true of course, but not everybody should know _that._ Your mom would kill you if she knew.

When you do go out to get some groceries you see that karma is, once again, a bitch. Because you bump into Rachel.

"Hi, Rach." You say awkwardly, not looking her directly into her eyes.

"Hi, Noah." She says, about as awkward, followed by even more awkward silence.

"So, how.. how are things?" You ask eventually, while you're trying to hold everything together and not say anything you might regret later.

"They're.. good. I think." You raise an eyebrow at that answer.

"My dads weren't happy when we called off the wedding. But when I explained that I wasn't happy and the reason why they understood. Finn also seemed understanding, but I haven't got the slightest clue why that may be. I mean, he does know about the whole affair." She gives you a look that says she suspects that you might know more about that, but you don't say anything.

"I'm still surprised he hasn't killed me yet." You don't see that as a lie, Finn did, probably, try to kill you when he came to your house on the day of the wedding, but he failed.

"Do you want to get some coffee?" She asks, a brilliant smile appearing upon her perfect face.

You nod. "Sure."

You offer her your arm and she links hers through it. You try to ignore the tingly feeling that it causes.

Together you walk to a little café around the corner and while you are drinking your coffees, you're talking and laughing like you are actually friends.

You realize you would do everything for this girl, just as long that she is around.

You would even move to New York, if that is what it takes.

…

**A/N: **Thanks for reading and hope you liked it! :)


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